My son, the doctor

After we showered together in Mexico, Julian was very serious and concerned about the state of Mommy’s penis: non-existent. We had a little chat about who has what type of body parts, and he definitely understood this new information.

A conversation later in the week:

Julian: Daddy, put sandals on.
Ryan: No, Daddy has an owie on his foot.
Julian: Mommy, put sandals on.
Whitney: I don’t want to put my shoes on right now.
Julian: Mommy has an owie?
Ryan: No, Mommy doesn't have an owie – just Daddy.

(Thoughtful pause)

Julian: Just mans have owies and penises. Not womans.

I quickly pointed out an owie that I had elsewhere on my body, and we were all once again clear about the major difference between “mans” and “womans”.


As all toddler parents know, there is nothing more fascinating to a kid in diapers than mom or dad using the toilet. Plus, due to safety reasons, it’s usually easiest to just let them stand next to you while you’re doing your business than to hope that they are playing independently and not about to eat poison or knock over something, forcing you to run from the bathroom with your pants around your ankles. And so, today, Julian stood directly in front of me while I sat on the toilet, armed with his new anatomical knowledge.

Julian: What’s that? (Pointing to my crotch)
Me: (Annoyed, but obligated to the truth) Remember? That’s my vagina. That’s where my pee comes out.
Julian: Mommies don’t have penises.
Me: That’s right.
Julian: And babies don’t have teeth!


As you can see, he's got it all figured out. I'm starting a fund for medical school.


Sarah said...

Gabby says, "My vagina is inside and my vulva is outside" at any random time she thinks of it. She also says that men have "peanuts." Close enough for a girl with two moms!

Mother Hoodwink said...

What a smartie your boy is. Some men are so engrossed with their own penises, they don't even realize that women don't have them until quite a fews years later.

tracey said...

Seems to me he does have it all figured out! And your trip sounded heavenly.

Hey, I was just over at Minti and saw a note to you from Rachel that you guys might be neighbors now. How cool is that? Just wanted to mention it.

L.A. Daddy said...

You're farther along than us. It took us a while to convince LA Toddler that her vagina is not also her butt. Now, she calls it her "little butt" - we're making progress...

Weetzie said...

When my husband says he "can't wait" until our child gets to the curious toddler stage, I should make him read things like this. I think he forgets that they are curious about EVERYTHING, not just frogs and colors and what happens when you flip a light switch.

Whit said...

We went through this when thing 1 was smaller. (He's now almost 4) He also told us that thing 2 wouldn't be able to talk until he got his big teeth. Very smart and hilarious.

Whit's Wife

mamaluv said...

That was a very amusing post! My oldest son will soon be ready for "that discussion" and he's a big joker - that will be an interesting conversation...